


anyone else wanna freaking die

by thenuggetwhowrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton is deaf, Crack Fic, F/F, F/M, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, also maybe america chavez, avengers crack, chat fic, clint barton cant spell, im a whore, im a whore for high school aus, im an idiot, im so sorry, kate bishop in future maybe, maybe not chat in the future but mostly chat, sorry - Freeform, steve is pre serum bc baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-03-17 00:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18954541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenuggetwhowrites/pseuds/thenuggetwhowrites
Summary: hi my avengers high school au crack chat fanficI hate myself.this is really bad but im too bad to write a real fanfic so have this instead





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> clit: clint  
> brattynatty: natasha  
> notabrokebitch: tony  
> doctor: bruce  
> boomboompow: thor  
> asscheeks: steve  
> pettyparker: peter  
> cawcawmf: sam  
> mother: pepper  
> probablydrunk: valkyrie  
> ohcaptain: carol  
> coldsoldier: bucky (like cold shoulder do you get it)

pettyparker created bitchboys

pettyparker: hola

asscheeks changed the name to the avengers

brattynatty: what the fuck does that mean what are we avenging  
coldsoldier: me  
asscheeks: why  
coldsoldier: CLINT SPILLED FUCKING COFFEE ON ME YESTERDAY  
clit: in my defense,,,,,,,,,  
clit: im baby  
ohcaptain: no im baby  
pettyparker: mom hes in the house call 911 or something  
clit: im baby  
ohcaptain: im baby  
brattynatty: oh man i got clints first  
cawcawmf: i got carol  
coldsoldier: i got clits :(  
clit: cause im baby  
doctor: shut up  
boomboompow: i am AAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
probablydrunk: what is AAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
pettyparker: me too  
notabrokebitch: any of yall do the math hw i dont wanna  
cawcawmf: fuck you  
asscheeks: yeah  
notabrokebitch: can you send it  
asscheeks: longfurby.png  
notabrokebitch: >:(  
mother: hello children. tony, do your homework. be responsible and ill buy you food.  
brattynatty: the heavens opened and they sent down god  
mother: is that me?  
clit: yes  
coldsoldier: stevie come over and do my english for me  
clit: i really wan  
pettyparker: ???  
notabrokebitch: clint you good  
brattynatty: hes asleep im gonna buy him coffee and pick him up  
coldsoldier: no let him die  
asscheeks: bucky,,,,, i agree. im on my way make mac and cheese  
boomboompow: im want food olease  
probablydrunk: i have gin  
pettyparker: olease  
notabrokebitch: olease  
mother: do your homework!! or starve  
brattynatty: oh shit  
clit: i am fucking. sleep deprived  
cawcawmf: whens the last time you got more than 2 hrs of sleep in a row  
clit: uhhhhhhhhh  
brattynatty: like a month ago  
asscheeks: me too. but clint sleep  
clit: i, a bad bitch you cant kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk  
brattynatty: he fucjing fell asleep again  
pettyparker: he went out with a bang  
coldsoldier: im being assaulted.  
notabrokebitch: what  
mother: are you alright?  
asscheeks: i gave him a hug hes just dramatic  
coldsoldier: im gonna fuck him.  
cawcawmf: WHAT THE HELL  
brattynatty: james. shhhhhh  
pettyparker: MY VIRGIN EYES AAAAAAAAAAAH  
probablydrunk: do it  
boomboompow: dont listen to her she just chugged an entire bottle of vodka  
ohcaptain: that cant be healthy val are you okay  
coldsoldier: I AAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
asscheeks: oh no  
coldsoldier: I MEANT FUCK HIM UP  
coldsoldier: IM GONNA KILL MYSELF  
pettyparker: im laughing so hard  
clit: nat just woke me up cus she was cakcling  
probablydrunk: tis sad. but i will help you!  
asscheeks: please no  
coldsoldier: i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
coldsoldier: no one  
notabrokebitch: that was dramatic  
roady: like you  
mother: hello james!!  
roady: hi mom!  
doctor: why do i have so many texts  
boomboompow: why arent you dating me  
asscheeks: that escalated  
probablydrunk: he drank my gin  
pettyparker: is everyone gay,.0,.$38  
clit: petey malfunctioned a bit there  
brattynatty: i am the only straight one  
cawcawmf: im straight theyre just gay  
clit: iexcsue, me  
clit: boys ar fucking  
brattynatty: he needs a minute  
asscheeks: ah yes. boys are fucking.  
clit: stupid  
cawcawmf: truth. im a boy. im fucking  
clit: YOURE AN IDIOT  
clit: i got married yesterday  
brattynatty: you did not  
coldsoldier: i wasnt invited?  
notabrokebitch: to who  
mother: was it laura? she's such a sweetie.  
ohcaptain: you dont deserve her  
probablydrunk: oh hon that was harsh  
ohcaptain: you are the queen of harsh val  
roady: also the queen of alcohol. thank god she comes to our parties.  
roady: carol comes with the crack.  
doctor: crack? like cocaine?  
ohcaptain: i have never touched a drug  
probablydrunk: how dare you accuse my girlfriend of drug  
coldsoldier: im gay  
clit: we kmow  
cawcawmf: fuck you bucky  
brattynatty: kmow  
pettyparker: kmow  
asscheeks: guys you wont believe what just happened


	2. my life is a joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and i oop- i have no summary this is hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a whore

the avengers

asscheeks: i ate a bean.   
notabrokebitch: i waited a solid two minutes to hear that you ate a bean?  
coldsoldier: stevie you bitch

the next day

clit: someone fucking stole my burrito bowl at lunch  
cawcawmf: it was the lunch monitor  
brattynatty: you’re not allowed to leave school to get food you literally came in while beeping your car with food  
clit: it was still rude  
asscheeks: does anyone know how to do the chem homework cause i dont understand shit  
coldsoldier: language  
notabrokebitch: oh I KNOW IT HOLD ON  
doctor: chemhw.png  
asscheeks: thank you bruce ily  
notabrokebitch: fuck you banner  
boomboompow: hey! thats mean >:(  
pettyparker: ha im in chem too and im a freshie  
clit: you’re not supposed to call yourself a freshie thats like a mean nickname  
roady: shut up clont  
notabrokebitch: clont  
clit: im baby!   
ohcaptain: can yall shut up  
probablydrunk: yeah im like. tryna fuck rn? and its honestly rude bc her phone keeps dinging  
asscheeks: oh my god  
doctor: carol what  
boomboompow: VALKYRIE ARE YOU FUCKING CAROL  
ohcaptain: IM GONNA KILL HER  
ohcaptain changed probablydrunk’s name to brunnhilde  
brunnhilde: FUCK YOU  
brunnhilde: WHY CANT I CHANGE IT BACK  
notabrokebitch: im crying  
pettyparker: but lesbians cant fuck each other  
roady: what else would you like them to say  
asscheeks: 69  
coldsoldier: wow steve  
clit: well we all know you do it binky barnes  
cawcawmf: BINKY BARNES  
cawcawmf: from fucking arthur !! im calling you that now  
cawcawmf changed coldsoldier’s name to binkybarnes  
binkybarnes: is a double homicide legal  
notabrokebitch: uhh i dont think so  
pettyparker: totally! do it.   
roady: wow parker wants to see them burn  
mother: WHAT IS HAPPENING  
mother: I JUST READ ALL THE TEXTS I MISSED AND FIRST OF ALL: I’m not surprised by Carol and Valkyrie. At all. But please no murder! I can’t bail you out of that.   
binkybarnes: im sorry mom  
notabrokebitch: i love you pep  
mother: Do your homework.   
binkybarnes changed his name back to coldsoldier  
brunnhilde: WHY CAN HE CHANGE IT BACK  
ohcaptain: cause you’re a bitch  
brunnhilde changed her name back to probably drunk  
probablydrunk: you didn’t think that last night  
clit: oh shit  
cawcawmf: shit got real  
pettyparker: shh!! im a child.   
notabrokebitch: shut up in front of my son  
asscheeks: your son?  
pettyparker: dad?  
roady: family reunion time  
mother: Does this mean that I am his mother?  
clit: your everyones mother  
cawcawmf: *you’re   
brattynatty: oh shit  
clit: alrighty then death by arrows it is  
coldsoldier: yay!  
pettyparker: nooo dont kill sam  
doctor: you didn’t seem upset by that idea before  
pettyparker: but i changed my mind  
notabrokebitch: kill sam  
roady: do it  
cawcawmf: WHAT  
brattynatty: please don’t  
asscheeks: how about no murder. please  
coldsoldier: :(  
clit: too late  
cawcawmf: im alive tho? wdym too late  
brattynatty: hes holding a knife and walking out the door  
boomboompow: uh oh

family issues

hornedwhore: thor why did you just run out of the house  
boomboompow: gotta stop a homicide  
theoghornedwhore: i say let it happen  
hornedwhore: as much as i want to agree with you hela  
hornedwhore: please stop the homicide. because its probably clint. i have a feeling.   
boomboompow: why do you care  
hornedwhore: oh i dont care about clint. i care about who hes gonna kill. sam could be a useful asset one day.   
boomboompow: how do you know its sam  
hornedwhore: i read over your shoulder  
theoghornedwhore: ha. taught you right you copycat  
hornedwhore: fuck you  
boomboompow: language, brother

babeys

smartass- harley  
imaprincessbitch- shuri  
youdidntseethatcoming- pietro  
strongestavenger- wanda

pettyparker: hi  
smartass: why is my name smartass  
strongestavenger: because you are  
imaprincessbitch: ew why is harley in this  
smartass: first of all fuck you  
pettyparker: stop being mean to eachother  
youdidntseethatcoming: my name too long

youdidntseethatcoming changed his name to happyfeet

happyfeet: better  
smartass: skskks  
pettyparker: happy feet  
imaprincessbitch: god i havent seen that movie in so long  
strongestavenger: thats the first american movie he ever saw  
happyfeet: its good  
pettyparker: it is actually good  
smartass: yall can we talk abt the elephant in the room

**Author's Note:**

> ooh cliffhanger. sorry im stupid


End file.
